Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in empresspatti's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Monday, January 30th, 2012
9:15 pm	Cling Time Everyone is heartbroken in Empresspattiland. My 46-year-old cousin, beloved husband, father, son, friend, coach and all around great guy died. Driving to work, he was hit by a truck and gone instantly. My family is forever diminished. My cousin’s family grew up around the corner from ours. I was prolly 10 before I understood the difference between ‘brother’ and ‘cousins’. I had four brothers and three of them usually went to the other home at night. As kids, we were all siblings with two sets of parents. Growing up, we always celebrated every family moment together. Over the years that was a lot of vacations, Birthday, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving 4th of July, Mother, Father and Grandparent days plus all the little stuff in between; fishing, learning to ride bikes, stilts, good report cards, the ice cream truck or backyard baseball. We camped every weekend in the summer and set the yard on fire with a magnifying glass. As we got older and had our own families we haven’t spent as much time together, but we are crazy glued into each other’s lives by major holidays and the Momma hotline. In spite of a career covering news, I can’t comprehend how such a vital life could disappear in seconds. My Parents, Aunt and Uncle are so distressed. My Brother and Cousins are crushed. There is nothing I can do to help, really. I find myself teary and miserable at unexpected moments. I feel like my head is filled with bees. The thought of what his widow and sons are going through makes it hard to breathe. Poor Mr. W and the kids! I have unabashed Cling Time. I can hardly stand to let anyone out of my sight. I took my Parents to the airport and had a horrible moment when I thought about flinging myself on the sidewalk, throwing a tantrum, sobbing ‘Don’t leave!’ I’m glad they are wintering in Arizona, but I get panicky if I don’t talk to my Mom often. The only thing I take away from all this grief is that a life can be finished in a second, no matter what you’ve got planned. If there was ever a time to make amends, be kind, tell someone that you love them, make someone laugh or count you blessings – the time is NOW.
Monday, January 2nd, 2012
9:11 pm	2010/2011/2012 and other nonsense Mr. Wonderful got a standup round of applause (DeerZilla) on Christmas afternoon when we showed up at our friends for the Holiday Feast. It was really funny. Then we talked, laughed, ate ourselves into a coma and drank a bunch. It was a good Christmas. It was also different – the first Christmas we didn’t spend the whole day with our kids. It made us feel nostalgic for younger times. I wasn’t expecting much from 2011. After all, in 2010 I traveled the world and had the Best Time Ever. What could compare? 2011 started with emotional whiplash. My Brother called to tell me he had prostrate cancer and immediately after I hung up the phone my Daughter came zipping through the door to announce her engagement. PHEW – it was a lot to process in a short amount of time. My Brother is healthy and fine. My Daughter is happily married. Life goes on. I’ve been happy, mostly. And that is where I stall. I spent most of 2011 BUSY. We had lots of company, wedding events and a great family vacation/wedding. Then I came home in September, cleaned my house and didn’t leave for weeks. The only Christmas event I participated in was Cookie Baking Day with the Girls. I skipped the CNN party and every other invitation I received. Except for the Fatwa, I couldn’t be bothered. So that’s what I have to work on in 2012 – being as happy with people as I am by myself. Whatever THING I’m having, time to get over it. Oh – I should also lose about a zillion pounds. I promise myself this every January. My trajectory has been revolting in recent years. We’ll see. Luckily, I like going to the gym. In other boring news, I did have a great New Years Eve. My Daughter was working the graveyard shift on the CNN Assignment Desk. Mr W declined the honor, but I went and had carry out Chinese with her and we talked and laughed for hours. She’s going to be traveling doing a lot for the CNN/GOP debates, so I won’t see much of her this winter. Boy Howdie - was it creepy in that empty newsroom/whole damn building and I managed to scare myself every time I used the potty, but it was nice to have some one on one time with my best girl. OK – that was enough of the serious. Here’s the funny: Monster the Wonderbunny discovered how to get on my Daughter’s couch. This skill opens whole new vistas of places to dingleberry and things to chew. If he figures out how to get on my furniture, I’ll prolly have an aneurism. Couch climbing earned him a stint in the slammer. Monster does not like jail. My Son – heading out New Years Eve looking criminally pretty. HAPPY 2012 Y'ALL. I'm always honored to share your lives.... (19 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 23rd, 2011
10:16 pm	Mission: Fatwa It has been a really fun evening. Fatwa 2011 deployment went off without a hitch. Mr. W and our Son met up with the Hoye Boyz at the rendezvous around the corner from the Ahlers home. The youngest Hoye, armed with night vision goggles, was the scout. We had all agreed to meet for pizza (our three families get together about once a month) as a kickoff to Christmas break. As soon as the Ahlers were spotted leaving their house, DeerZilla happened. It was really fun sitting in the local corner pub, talking and laughing, knowing the Ahlers would get home to this: Here is another view - DeerZilla bespoiling the tasteful front lawn. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone. I hope everyone has a great weekend. (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 18th, 2011
9:25 pm	Even better with LIGHTS! Mr. W's creation almost complete - he's going to add red lights for the eyes and maybe some other nonsense (he's thinking snorting flames, we'll see) BUT! Now we have to plan deployment. And pizza! (10 Comments |Comment on this)
7:45 pm	Christmas Fatwa 2011 Planning I can't resist showing off...... Last year we returned from Christmas Eve Services to Evol Santa and his Reindeer henchmen marching towards our front door. Santa had a machete and a hit list. We left it on all night. As usual, our neighbors were horrified. I remember sipping my early morning coffee that Christmas Day, looking out the window thinking that a little bit of duct tape really can make a Jolly Old Elf look menacing. Mr. W has been busy today. Reindeer have been reassembled into DeerZilla - which should be awesome with awesome sauce esp once we (by we I mean Mr. W. I just claim credit through marriage) re-purposes the lights. DeerZilla with be walking the Santa Pig BEST. FATWA. EVER. (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 6th, 2011
9:05 pm	Cinderella and Chicken Pox When she was three, my Daughter came down with a wicked case of chicken pox. The doctor was firm - keep her home and give her benadryl. For fun, she watched Cinderella 17 times a day. I still get nightmares about those singing mice. Back then I was worried that she’d grow up to think people could treat her badly. Not the message I wanted her to absorb. “Cinderella was a wimp,” I told her. “She should have stuck up for herself.” Three weeks later, my girl was feeling much better. We were only watching Cinderella 10 times a day. I repeated my ‘wimp’ comment. My Daughter climbed into my lap, looked me in the eye and said “Grandma says she was just a victim of her times.” I about died laughing. That settled the issue forever. Fast forward 21 years. Here’s an email my Girl sent me from work on Thanksgiving evening…. I am watching Cinderalla on my iPad tonight, (only because I watched Gone With the Wind ON A LOOP last night on cable) and halfway through the movie I thought “you know, if she didn’t like living with these mean women, she could have gotten her own job and moved out.” And on Thanksgiving, 2011, I became my Mother. Sometimes life is Just So Good! (20 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 5th, 2011
10:43 pm	Thanksgiving 2011 In order of FUN: There was a moment in the week before Thanksgiving when I first heard a Christmas Carol. I thought about throwing myself on the floor of the Shoppers Food Warehouse and throwing a tantrum. Then I bucked up, shopped, bought and cooked everything at the store for Thanksgiving 2011. Everyone enjoyed a Food Coma for the rest of the weekend. I’m officially over my pre holiday blues. The Saturday after Thanksgiving is always my favorite. The Dragorhir Battle Games takes place at a State Park near my house. I’ve written about it before, here. I love to go and watch the nutty fun. Fav pix from this years gawking….. How cute is greenface guy with his necklace of fingers? These guys took time off from the battle to pose for me. Bet y’all didn’t know that the Trojans fought the Lord of the Rings guys… Slayer! (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 13th, 2011
9:11 pm	The Game is Afoot If you've been reading my journal for a few years you might know about the Christmas Fatwa.  Here are a few helpfully provided links The entire history : OR - The Year of the Snake AND the Trash Talk has begun for 2011...Otherwise to be known as IT IS OUR TURN.... From:  Empresspatti To:  All the insane people   Now you've done it.  I didn't think my boys could get any more cranked up.  Tom and Evan - I AM NOT BAILING YOU OUT OF JAIL.  PERIOD!  You have to be sneaky.  +++++++++++++++   From: Tom  (Mr. Wonderful) To: Lynn To: Mike To: Empresspatti To: Evan Sent: Mon, Nov 7, 2011 6:36 am Subject: Re: SAR Report: Twin Valley Lane   Bwaaaa hahahahahahahahahahah +++++++++++++++++ From: Lynn To: Mike cc: Tom, Evan, Empresspatti Sent: On 11/7/11 11:32 AM   You know you've done it now. Why didn't you just say "bring it on?" +++++++++++++   From: Mike Sent: Monday, November 07, 2011 07:44 AM To: Tom (Mr. Wonderful) To: Empresspatti To: Evan Cc: Lynn  Subject: SAR Report: TV Lane   To:        Block Captains From:    Mike Ahlers,  Chief, Twin Valley Defense Network    I was very happy to see Sunday’s test of our Early Alert Warning System (EAWS) was successful. Unmanned aerial systems first detected suspicious activity on Norbeck Road on Sunday and streamed video of a suspect vehicle through both encrypted and un-encrypted channels to numerous human spotters on TV Lane. The human spotters use a wide array of interactive social media, digital communications devices and legacy telephone systems to relay warnings about the encroachment. The suspects were interdicted, interviewed, found to be amateurish in appearance, ability and intent.   Even giving the success of the EAWS, I’d like to remind block captains that eternal vigilance is the price of our security. Accordingly, we are re-doubling our technological response to threats, and Secy. Napolitano will visit our neighbor next weekend to launch a TV Lane Home Edition of her award-winning  “If you see something, say something” campaign.    Regards,  Mike  (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 12th, 2011
2:13 pm	Best Saturday morning,... Mostly due to boredom I tagged along with Mr. Wonderful to the barbershop for his haircut. After we were hitting the local fruit stand/shopping center to buy apples and pick up a few groceries. He’s making a pie today and I like to encourage that. Barbershop – for the first time ever I discovered Maxim Magazine. What an insightful and delightful glimpse into the priorities of men: Boobies. I might be old but some things never change. Also, Mr. W didn’t know who Katy Perry was, which made me feel superior. Then inferior because who the hell cares about Katy Perry, anyway? My brain is filled with useless pointless pop culture. No one will go see Breaking Dawn with me, btw. I’m betrayed by my Daughter growing up. Um – anyway - A rather hefty young man pitching a tantrum over his haircut interrupted my intent pursing of men’s magazines. ‘Close’ but not ‘short’ seemed to be the theme of the hissy fit. He stomped out in the nick of time because I couldn’t shove any more of my sweatshirt into my mouth to keep from laughing. Anyone who thinks women angst over hair is missing 50% of the hair angst happening on any given Saturday. He demanded his $3 tip back and as we left the parking lot he was standing near his car yelling into his phone. Honestly, I almost giggled myself into a seizure. I had recovered, except for minor eruptions of laughter, as I trotted around the store. When I got to the checkout line BONUS – my fav check out clerk. “Don’t let me forget stamps” I told her. “This is my third attempt. I come in here for stamps, find something shiny instead and may never mail my electric bill.” “Gurrl, I hear ya”, said the lady behind me in line. “Yesterday I came in for Windex and left with fried chicken.” EGADS!! The three of us stood there howling with laughter. Everyone around us watched dumbfounded until we all calmed down, blew our noses and wiped our eyes. I can’t believe I had that much fun running errands on a typical Saturday. Mr. W is never going out in public with me again. AND there is still pie to come!! Whoo Hoo! (24 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 9th, 2011
9:53 pm	Sometimes life really brings the fun “Yeesh,” my Daughter told me earlier today, “first I have to watch Cain go !Boom! Now I have to listen to this Penn State thing. Men are gross! Plus, every person commentating for CNN had a stoopid moment on air. It’s been a busy day on the Assignment Desk.” I love the ironic zest of sarcasm life affords me. “Yup. I had the fun of covering the Anita Hill Hearings. The stupid oozed off the walls. So, how’s the new hubby?” “He’s great. A trainable man.” My Girl makes me laugh. “It took me two years to housebreak Mr. Wonderful,” I confided. My Daughter was curious. “How long did it take to housebreak me?” “Not that long, but I had to do it twice. Once when you were almost three and then again when you were 14. Only at 14 I called it ‘making you grow up into a reasonable adult’ even though it was the same damn thing as housebreaking.” “WoW”, said my Daughter, “ I remember that! Am I done?” “Well, today you are. We’ll see about tomorrow.” “Is Evan ever going to be done?” My Daughter spends a lot of time in her younger brothers business. “Gwad I hope so. You made me grey, but I’m gonna be bald by the time he’s out of the house.” “Well, I am the better kid.” “You are my favorite Daughter.” By now I was laughing. “I am your only Daughter.” So that was fun. I also went with my newly retired BFF to see Hillwood Museum today. The weather and gardens were beautiful, we saw a ton of interesting stuff, learned about Marjorie Merriweather Post and could sit in the warm shade at the café and have lunch. It was awesome with awesome sauce. I’m on a roll. Yesterday Miss Peg and I went to the National Geographic exhibit of the Anglo-Saxen Horde discovered in Staffordshire, England by a guy with a metal detector. Since all roads lead to the gift shop, on the way out I discovered a pair of lovely amber and silver drop earrings. I called Mr. W immediately. “Want me to buy you my Christmas present?” I asked him. “SURE! He said happily, buy it and forgetaboutit.” I’m also going to forgetabout a lovely amber pendent necklace that he doesn’t know he’s bought for my birthday. Life is good in Empresspattiland. (14 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 30th, 2011
9:12 pm	Somehow we missed the weather In spite of hysterical cries of SNOWFLAKE from all the weathermen, somehow Our Nations Capital managed to survive the rain and glop of Saturday afternoon. The plants on my deck are still flowering. In other words: Big Nothingburger. But Congress is in session for the next three weeks so there will be plenty to be miserable about soon. Mr. W and my Daughter will have long hours at CNN getting each idiotic utterance on the air. My October hibernation didn’t work out as planned. I’ve spent the last 14 days *dying* of a miserable cold and sounding like I was going to hack up a lung. My ears were so congested that I had !stabby!ear! fun (tubes inserted in my eardrums) again. It was worth the pain of tube drama to know that if I’m ever healthy enough to go to a restaurant again I’ll be able to eavesdrop on everyone like usual. I’d like to thank Miss Peg for this. I swear – I caught this plague by talking to her on the phone when she first got sick. Tomorrow – three weeks later, I’m going over to sit at her house, drink tea and practice breathing. If we aren’t too pathetic, we’ll go out to lunch to check my eavesdropping skilz. Just like little old ladies. Speaking of FUN – a few days ago a three-man team washed my mold covered house and gutters. Then they scrubbed the windows, storm windows and screens. I brewed an extra pot of coffee so I could sit around drinking with my feet up while I watched MEN CLEAN THINGS. Sersly - it's about the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Now my house sparkles like Meyer vampires!! Yup – my life is exactly that boring. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 18th, 2011
8:55 pm	I hate wildlife. Esp in my yard. This weekend, my friend Gary came by and dug up all my hydrangeas. I said goodbye to 3 blue puffballs and a lavender lacecap. The most painful goodbye was the oak leaf hydrangea that Mr. W and the kids gave me for Mothers Day 11 years ago. I had already dug and given away most of the hostas and sedums. It’s pointless – we have at least 30 deer that live in my immediate ‘hood. They are eating everything down to the mud. I can’t possibly protect the plants. Goodbye garden – it was fun while it lasted and kept me busy and working hard. Stinking Deer! (17 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 13th, 2011
8:45 pm	What have you done for me lately? I’ve declared October the “I’m not doing a THING for anyone” month. This year I helped two friends pack up their homes due to divorce. I had 4 weeks of company. I’ve hosted at least 10 event dinners for my family. I was Mother of the Bride, which included a wedding/family vacation where I kept 8 people over 80 busy and happy. Which, btw, was truly my pleasure. So NO – In October I am not driving you to the airport, picking up your mail, babysitting your kid or being useful in any way. I’m on the couch with a book. Which is a lie, occasionally. Today I worked out like a young (er) person and then had a cleaning frenzy topped by rubbing lemon oil all my wood furniture. It was surprisingly satisfying work with instant results. I got in the shower at 4p then put on my pj’s. Naturally, my new son-in-law dropped in. Luckily he’s seen me in pjs before. Now I’m storing the humongous wedding dress box. Monster the wonderbunny would eat it if it lived with the Happy Couple. That rabbit is a menace. I think I’ve finally sorted/gotten out from under all the emotions that swirled around my brain while my Daughter got married. Summary as follows: She married a great guy I really like. We had a really fun family time and their decision to have a tiny destination wedding was perfect and romantic. His Family is wonderful and we all like each other. I managed to not look awful for multiple occasions in spite of how much I hate shopping. BulYA~ Throughout the whole ceremony, I maintained my strict No Sniveling Policy. BUT As I sat watching my beautiful daughter get married, I felt her little girl weight on my chest, sitting on my lap. My Girl started her new family while her childhood sat against my heart. (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011
9:53 pm	The Iron Maiden Book Club Reading List For the life of me I don't remember who asked for this but here you go - The Iron Maiden Book Club reading list.   1 - State of Denial – Bob Woodward 2 - The Outlander - Diana Gabaldon 3 - The God of Small Things - Arundhati Roy 4 - The Sweet Forever - George Pelecanos 5 - The Glass Castle - Jeannette Walls 6 - In The Time of the Butterflies - Julia Alvarez 7 - The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay - Michael Chabon 8 - The Wedding of the Two-Headed Woman - Alice Mattison (we ALL HATED THIS) 9 - Manhunt - James Swanson 10 - Three Cups of Tea - Greg Mortenson 11 - Blind Side - Michael Lewis 12 - Year Of Wonders: A Novel about the Plague - Geradline Brooks 13 - The Brief Wondrous Life Of Oscar Wao - Junot Diaz 14 - Digging to America - Anne Tyler 15 - Two Lives: Gertrude and Alice - Janet Malcolm 16 - Glory, Passion and Principal: The Story of Eight Remarkable Women at the core of the American Revolution - Melissa Lukeman Bohrer 17 - Truth and Beauty - Anne Prachett 18 - Stolen Innocence - Alissa Wall 19 - Under the Banner of Heaven - John Krakower 20 - Two Rivers - Tammy Greenwood 21 - The Omnivore’s Dilemma - Michael Pollen 22 - The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox - Maggie O’Farrell 23 - The Englishman’s Daughter - Ben McIntyre 24 - Agent Zigzag - Ben McIntyre 25 - City of Thieves - David Benioff 26 – Ship of Gold in the Deep Blue Sea – Gary Kinder 27 – The Great Influenza – John M. Barry 28 - A Small Death in Lisbon - Robert Wilson 29 - On Beauty - Zadie Smith 30 - Down the Nile - Rosemary Mahoney 31 - No Ordinary Time - Doris Kean Goodwin 32 - The Help – Kathryn Stockett 33 - No Touch Monkey - Ayun Halliday 34 – Olive Kitteridge - Elizabeth-Strout 35- Half the Sky - Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide - Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn******Most important book I have ever read. 36. Any book by author Carl Hiaasen 37. The Places In Between – Rory Stewart 38, The Red Convertible - Louise Erdrich 39. Crazy in Alabama – Mark Childress 40. The Warmth of Other Suns - Isabel Wilkerson (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 3rd, 2011
10:06 pm	Happy Sappy Joy Joy I owe everyone in the world a comment. Thank you for all the good wishes. This is such an amazing community. For the first time in ages, I have nothing special going on. Thank Gwad. There have been a LOT of memorial life affirming moments lately and I’ve hit happiness saturation. I’m one step away from dreaming about unicorns farting rainbows. Mr. W is on a business trip. I worked out, ran errands for hours and was in pjs by 6p. I’m planning epic snoring tonight. Serious for a moment: There has been a lot of emotion to process, I’m just starting to come up for air. Last night was the final wedding celebration – all our CNN buddies threw the Happy Couple a fun BBQ. We sat around talking and laughing with people we have known for years. My Daughter first came with me to work when she was four. Now she works on the Washington Bureau Assignment Desk. Which is, hands down, the best newsgathering operation there is. Not that I’m biased. I’d think that even if none of us had ever worked there. But I digress. In addition to the wedding fun, I had Iron Maiden Book Club sleepover this past Friday. We are Iron Maidens because we all met lifting weights at the gym. In 2006 we started a book club. It has been a joy. One of the members has a vacation home in the Shenandoah Valley and we had our second annual sleepover/book club meeting. We drink a lot of wine, make and eat great food. We talk talk talk about books and everything else. Then we get up the next morning and have a hike. It’s awesome. Now might be the time to mention that between all the wedding festivities and the book club sleepover, I’ve drunk more this past year than in my entire life combined. I’m afraid to step on the scale. My two oldest, best friends have retired this month. It might be time to buy a motorcycle and go Easy Rider. (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 22nd, 2011
9:08 pm	Three Generations I love this picture. I'm the luckiest person on earth! (24 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 18th, 2011
9:45 pm	Still talking about the Wedding We were beat by the time we got home yesterday. Today was all about the laundry. Now I'm so tired I can hardly think. My Daughter and the Man who loves her - starting their New Nation. (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 17th, 2011
6:45 pm	Younger Brothers Revenge, Rehearsal dinner style My Daughter shouldn't have spent her entire life bossing her younger Brother around. This is what he wore to the rehearsal dinner. I couldn't stop giggling. Notice that she is pinching his side? My Mother was the co conspirator. Grandma has a wicked sense of humor. Here we are, a family of nutburgers that love each other. (31 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 15th, 2011
11:20 pm	My Baby is Married The Wedding went off perfectly. The cliffs, sea and sky provided a beautiful place to make a forever promise. Here is a quick snap of the Happy Couple, taken from an iPhone. My heart is so full! (47 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 13th, 2011
8:28 am	Marthas Vineyard dispatch 1 I'm too busy to do anything but cut and paste an email I sent out to my Girlfriends....Just wanted everyone to know that things are good here during Wedding Week..... Greetings from MV!! We are having a great time. The first few days, when it was only the Happy Couple, Mr. Wonderful and I, it rained. It was wonderful!! We slept in, relaxed and generally had the blessing of good books and afternoon naps. Saturday everyone arrived, I threw a dinner party which was a raging success. I went to bed beat, but won enough brownie points to be off kitchen duty for the remainder of the trip. Since then, we've been taking people around the island, showing them the sights. It has been BEAUTIFUL here. Our house is just as lovely as we remembered. I'm having lobster rolls for lunch and decided if I don't fit into my MOB dress - oh well! Right now, tonight, we've all decided to stay home, drink old fashioned (Southern Comfort is everyone's friend) and play hand and foot. My Mom brought an automatic card shuffler, My Aunt is wearing a visor and it's boys against girls. You would not believe the smack talk going around. Aunt Fay just told Uncle John to stop chewing crackers so loud. So that is the update - we are having FUN big time. The sniffy/emotional/uncomfortable clothes and shoes part is still a few days away. Time for another cocktail! (16 Comments |Comment on this)