empresspatti (empresspatti) wrote,
empresspatti
empresspatti

Hospitals SUCK!

I looked up today and realized that I had lost a week.  I thought I would be busy with my MIL living at our house recovering from heart surgery.

 

I had no idea how busy I’d be when she had a heart “episode” and wound up back in the hospital. 

 

For the record – that was the least fun day ever  and that includes funerals, really boring weddings and testifying in a hit and run trial.  At one point I treated MIL to Mr. Toads Wild Ride – going from the EKG room to the ER. 

 

I was moving so fast with MIL in a wheelchair that I ran over a doctor. “ Get out of my way,” I snarled, “we’re having a heart attack.” 

 

I blew into the ER like a nightmare, slapped down the EKG paper and shouted “move, move, move.”  I’m surprised I didn’t explode on the spot.  I would have been subtler if I had waved around a gun.  Still, everyone noticed and hopped to help.  

51 with a side of crazy, that’s me, but I didn't want to be the one who broke Grandma!

 

So now, after heart valve replacement surgery, MIL is looking at pacemaker surgery.  After they figure out where the mysterious bacterial infection is coming from.

 

Aarruugh!  I feel so bad for her and so helpless.  All rolled up into one miserable lump.  EVERYONE!!!  EAT RIGHT AND WORK OUT.  MAINTAIN A HEALTHY WEIGHT.  YOU’LL BE GLAD WHEN YOU ARE OLDER.  I HAVE BEEN HANGING AROUND CARDIAC CARE UNITS LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO!

 

The vending machines here don’t have chocolate, like they did at Hershey Medical.  It was a very good idea to put a major hospital and major chocolate manufacturer in the same town.  And the doctors?  Not one of them is cute or has a nice butt.  I have labeled them all “Dr. Ego” and have to be careful not to say that to their collective faces.  Asshats!

 

So I alternate between the hospital and the gym (luckily, around the corner from the hospital) and home.  I am the official no fun zone of the Olympic sitting team.
Tags: hospitals suck
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