Broke Dad out of rehab for a visit to the urologist. He's been scaned/diagnosed with retaining 400 (some measurement of urine in the bladder, very bad). The answer is to self catheter mornings and evenings. SO I sent Dad off (and Mom, because she would NEVER leave him alone to cope) with the nurse for his demonstration/training.
So there I was, flipping through People magazine, when suddenly the fire alarm started whoop whoop whooping and saying EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY. DO NOT USE ELEVATORS. I continued reading, figuring it would take a while for Dad to untube and get his pants up. A semi hysterical nurse shrieked at me to 'Get out immediately."
"Well," I told her, "I'm not going anywhere without my Dad and his walker and my Mom and her cane." SO that's how I ended up carrying a walker, cane, two raincoats and two purses down five flight of steps along with my Mom and Dad. A cute young teenager helped us, but boy howdy did we hold up traffic!
We were decanted out the building between two malodorous dumpsters in the hosing rain. I got rain coats on my seniors and managed to get them down 3 crumbling steps to street level. Then I held up the goddamn fire truck while my Parents putted across the road to the parking lot. THAT WAS ME, giving the firefighters the finger and saying BACK OFF, WE ARE MOVING AS FAST AS WE CAN, EVERYONE HAS PLACES TO BE.