empresspatti (empresspatti) wrote,

Toxic Koalas

Every morning, I drive my son to school and Mr. Wonderful to the metro.  At 7am I am at my most visually charming, in my pjs, with bed hair, wearing a fleece jacket that looks gory since I painted the bathroom cabinets red.  From a distance I look like my boobs are bleeding. 


I am evol, beeping at the assholes that block traffic at metro.  Mr. Wonderful makes fun of me, “whoo bebe, you look so hot when you are foaming at the mouth.”  This usually ends with me snarling, “get out” instead of goodbye/seeyoulater/Iloveyou.  I hate everything before 8am.


To his disgust, I expect my son to walk home from school unless the weather is really extreme.  Last Monday he called and said, “Can you pick up me and the band?”


I was on my way to collect him when I thought “What band?” 


Mr. W’s band practiced in our basement all summer, but rhythm guitar owns a successful pizza franchise so practice moves to his house during the football season, close to his bidness in case of pizza emergency.  So sorry to see them go - BYE! 


The acoustic drum set remains in our basement however, because the electric drum set can live with rhythm guitar.  Aren’t I lucky to live with two drum sets? I didn’t know how lucky until I picked up the boys.


Two callow youths lugging amps and guitars were standing with my son.  They were all very loud and excited.  My son introduced “Ryan and Abner.”  Abner shook my hand and told me his name was very common in the Hispanic community. I hadn’t said a word but I guess he gets asked a lot.  It was hard keeping a straight face.  I hadn’t been in a car with three excited 16 yr olds recently – the funk was unbelievable.  It’s not as if they were dirty – how can they smell like that?  I was hanging my head out the window.


Cue an hour of the most brain numbing noise known to man.  Luckily, it was a warm afternoon as I ended up sitting in the car in the garage with my head ringing. 


I ferried band practice every day this week.  They had a ball.  I made the mistake of leaving a fresh batch of Christmas cookies on the counter – three boys ate 40 cookies and a gallon of milk in maybe 90 seconds.  I’m NEVER leaving food around again.


Band names were hotly debated.  Audio Migraine was my suggestion.  No one laughed.  Toxic Koalas was born.  The debut was International Night at school.   There are 80 nationalities represented at the high school, 60 languages spoken.  It is always a big deal.  The school was packed.  The boys had the first slot.  They did a punk version of “Build me up Buttercup” and “Growing Up.”  Mr. Wonderful and I about broke a rib holding in laughter – they were so BOOSTED standing there on stage being Rock Stars. 


The rest of the show was a blur – dancing being a big theme – Greek, Latin, Bangaladashi Devdas, El Salvadorian, Africian, Folk, Mexican, Break dancing, Chinese dancing complete with dragon costumes.  I sometimes forget how diverse our community is.  A stunning, tiny Asian girl played the violin like a pro, and a pianist and guitarist did a salsa medley that was amazing.


My Rock Star brought lots o friends home after.  They chattered and laughed and drank soda as my Son made a huge batch of Kraft mac and cheese because everyone was hungry.   Rock Star, Chef – and big stinky boy.




In other news - This day 23 years ago Mr. Wonderful and I decided to get married.  To celebrate, Mr. W and my son have gone to see I AM LEGEND.  Two rock stars – out for a matinee. 




Finally – I haven’t had much time for LJ lately.  I’ve had two people very close to me diagnosed with serious medical problems – which are not mine to discuss – and I will be mostly absent for the next few weeks.   As always - Its all fun and games till you spend lots of time at the hospital.


So now is the time for me to say that all of you have enriched my life – have great holidays.  I hope everyone has a chance to eat pie and dance.

Tags: toxic koalas
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