“What I can’t figure out,” I said to Mr. Wonderful, “is why I feel sad. Do you feel sad?”
“Yeah, some. I guess I miss the little girl she was. Times like this really mark how long ago that was.” Mr. W has really blue eyes and was wearing a tired smile.
We were sitting, exhausted, at House of Kabob waiting for our food. The last few weeks have been a cyclone of activity. My Brother and family were in town. Then, my In-Laws, with massive amounts of luggage, took over our bedroom.
We celebrated Mother’s Day, Daughter’s Graduation from College and Son’s 17th birthday. I have cleaned, shopped for food, cooked, and hosted several events while having the sinus/ear infection from hell. Medicine is a wonderful thing.
We’ve had really good time, with a side of tremendous pride that our beautiful daughter completed college with honors in less than 3 years. She is set to take on the world, or Disneyland, as she left early morning for a much-deserved vacation. It wouldn’t have been my post-college destination, but I’m not a kid.
The day after Graduation, Mr. W took my Son and friends to play Paintball for his birthday. This has been the activity of choice since he was 11. My job is to make massive amounts of food for the warriors.
The boys vibrate with anticipation as they load the car and leave. They return telling tales of slaughter, showing off bruises, scratches and welts with bonus points for ticks. They were loud, smelly and hungry as wolves. By the time we had dinner and birthday cake, everyone was yawning and sleepy-eyed.
My Son is now several inches taller than Mr. W. When did that happen?
Then, yesterday, there was no company, I didn’t have to cook and I could get into my bedroom whenever I needed to. Mr. W and I worked in the garden. Later, as Mr. W dozed in the hammock, three wrens landed on his torso and hopped down his legs. That gives you an idea of how little he was moving, once he was done being manual labor.
The food came and we ate quietly. We’d had plenty of raucous meals lately, so the silence was nice. When we got home our Daughter called to say they had an easy drive and were stopped for the night. No worries. We were too tired to go to the movies or watch tv. I put on pj’s, opened a book and conked out.
I feel like the universe has shifted and I don’t know why. Nothing has really changed – we all live in the same place. The sun is shining and the earth still rotates. Maybe it’s just because my Son got up this morning and mowed the lawn without being asked….
Just for a moment though, time stood still, caught between the past, the shimmering present and the bright future. My Girl walked across the stage and accepted – well it was a poster from UMD pretending to be a diploma, but whatever – looking every inch the adult. The little girl only exists in my heart.