empresspatti (empresspatti) wrote,
empresspatti
empresspatti

Colon Blow and winning the lottery. I don't mention politics even once

 My Son the killjoy doesn’t think the nickname “Mr. Mono” is funny.  He points out that he lost 11 lbs in 5 days – mostly due to the tonsillitis/no-swallowing problem he acquired at the same time.    

I see it as an opportunity.  I want to rent him out as a diet plan – kiss a cute boy, lose a dress size. 

“You,” he told me in total disgust, “are so weird.  You wouldn’t feel sorry for me if I was carrying my head under my arm.” 

“Oh please – You’d lose it somewhere and I’d have to drive you around looking for it.” 

That he thought was funny.  Which was a mistake because he’s so tall now that I can’t stop him from putting me in a headlock and noogie-ing my hair.  No respect.  I had to bite him to get free.  Ew - I prolly have cooties.

Since antibiotics took care of his ears, nose and throat, he has regained his appetite with a scary vengeance.  He’s taken to circling the kitchen like a shark while I’m cooking dinner.

 Last night he rooted around in the pantry and found “crackers.”  He had snarfed down a pile before I got a look at the box.  They were Metamucil high fiber crackers Mr. W had received as a gag gift when he turned 50.

“Egads,” I said.  “In case of constipation you’re supposed to eat two crackers with 8 ounces of water.  How many have you had?”  He confessed to having at least 10.  

Much to his chagrin, I couldn’t stop laughing.  “You just ate the equivalent of colon-blow.” 

It didn’t slow him down.  For the record, he ate an enormous dinner.  As soon as he had finished doing the dinner dishes he ate a huge bowl of cereal.

Apparently, no side effects.  The kid could digest scrap iron.  If I put kibble in a Tupperware container, he'd gobble it down.  

++++++

I’m going to be gone for the next few weeks.  My beloved friend, Miss Peg and her equally delightful husband are on home leave from Thailand, staying with us.  I feel like I won the lottery. 

Be well, my fab flisters.  You are the best. 

Tags: colon blow and winning the lottery
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