empresspatti (empresspatti) wrote,

Warning - I'm almost serious

 Now that Thanksgiving is over and the leftovers are history I had this thought:

Two major shopping trips – Costco ($119) and Giant ($140). 

One long and boring day vacuuming, dusting, scrubbing bathrooms, mopping kitchen.

One long and boring day prepping food for hours, setting formal table (this involved the iron – feh). 

One long fun day with loved ones, last minute preps, overeating and drinking. 

Props to the clean up crew - Mr. W and my Son were not thrilled to be enlisted but know a life-threatening situation when they see it. 

Jayus H Cresist on water skis – that is a ton of work for a meal.  Happy Thanksgiving!  It’s over for another year!   


Christmas is shaping up to be more fun with less stress for the first time in 20 years.

 I had a quiet (I did NOT yell) temper tantrum last November.  I should have done that 19 years ago because nothing settles a stinky problem/attitude like an airing in broad daylight with witnesses. I’m sure I was the talk of the party….  

 Historical note:  21 years ago after 34 years of marriage, Mr. W’s Dad left his Mom on 12/15 for another woman.  We got a card with Santa on it, in the mail, with his new address.  Can you imagine?

 Sez I with understatement: It cast a pall over the holidays. Cue several decades of multiple, dueling X-Mas weekends and family awkwardness.  Except for pie-in-the-face fantasies, it is the only time I have never found the funny in a miserable situation.  It has been the gift of stoopid that keeps on giving. 

 So. Over. It.

 Last year, we were all together the annual Friday after Thanksgiving gathering at a “neutral place” (the party room of MIL’s retirement community).  This event had been happening for a few years and was notable because everyone comes.  

 As one parental faction was making exclusionary Christmas plans quietly in a corner whispering at me to check our schedule, I realized that nothing less than anarchy was going to change the annual holiday post divorce clusterfuck. 

 I said loud and clear, my nasal voice interrupting multiple conversations:  “Our continued participation in family holiday events is contingent on all parties being welcome and being polite to each other.” 

 You could have heard a pin drop – there were red faces and sputtering. I had more pie.

 As my kids said in the car on the way home - “You’d think they’d never heard Suck It Up before.”  

 This year we all had a very cordial group email deciding a day and location when we could all get together.  Ho Ho HO!

Tags: warning - i'm almost serious
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