I’m moving like an old lady. My back is on fire. Which Serves Me Right. I went into a berserker fugue house cleaning orgy after the last of my Dad’s 80th bd party company decamped.
It started innocently – I came home from the gym and there was no place in the house I could sit without seeing spiders, cobwebs or crud. It took 7 hours which proves I am truly obsessive. I vacuumed behind bookshelves and under beds and couches. I scrubbed and waxed. For a grand finale, I washed all the curtains.
I prolly took a year off my life inhaling household chemicals, but my bathrooms glow in the dark. Mr. W and my Son aren’t allowed to use them anymore.
‘Go at work,’ I told them.
In order to get away from his insane wife, Mr. W wandered outside and for reasons I'll never understand, decided to poke the trim over the garage door.
Down on his head showered a a huge swarm of ants. It was horror show icky. The trim, festooned with rusty nails, fell on him once the ant cascade abated. He's lucky he made that mess outside or he'd be the headline of the Washington Post obit section.
Due to poor caulking, damp has invaded the supporting beam over our garage door. Now we have a marriage enhancing home improvement project.
The upside is that we DON’T have termites, much to the chagrin of the pest control guy who had visions of big bucks when he came to check.
Life is about to change. We send our Son off to college in a few weeks. We won’t exactly be empty nesters but it is just a matter of months till our Daughter leaves too. I am more sanguine than Mr. W. He’s losing his best buddy and partner in crime.
Since my back hurt too much to Do Things, I decided to update my resume because I'm ready to start my post-Mom life.
Imagine my joy when I realized that my resume is GONE FROM THE SERVER never to be found again. Basically, I had a few fun jobs right after college. Then I worked on news events until I stopped working in 2005. I never had to email a resume anywhere. I don’t have a paper copy. What a revolting development!
Upside? Even my file cabinets are organized now – all because of the Great Resume Search. I filled up the paper recycle bin throwing stuff away.
So I’m sitting in my newly pristine, hyper organized home, reconstructing my old life one segment at a time. I am my own history lesson, another improvement project, complete with ants.