empresspatti (empresspatti) wrote,

A wedding and a funeral

Warning: I’m almost serious this post.

I’ve landed in the Busy Zone. In the last two weeks I’ve been on a wedding site survey to Martha’s Vineyard, Ma and a funeral in Salisbury Md. I’m about to have three weeks of company.

It’s been a change from my usual life of lying on the couch reading a book with occasional forays to the gym, grocery store, library or laundry room. Gwad, I’m boring.

Here is another revelation: Planning a wedding may be occasionally stressful for the Bride, but this Mother of the Bride has been having fun. I have my dress and shoes so I’m ready for D Day.

The Vineyard was a beautiful break from the DC heat. I was born to intimidate vendors and insist on deals. The Mother of the Groom came with us and was charmed by the beauty of the island AND survived a full dose of Empresspatti. Whew!

MOG is a really nice person (no surprise considering how great her son is) and I’m pleased that she and my Daughter get along so well. You can never have too many good Moms in your life.

The wedding ceremony will be at the Aquinnah Lighthouse. The vista of sea and sky will be the perfect place to make a lifetime commitment. Here's a wide shot.

Mr. Wonderful delights in pointing out that since the ceremony is outside, there is a chance a bird will crap on me (it happens All The Time).

All things being equal, it could rain, but umbrellas have already been invented and I don’t care if my hair frizzes. The Bride agrees that she can’t control the weather, proving that she is an exceptional human with a great sense of humor.


I came home to sad news. My College Roommate, last seen having a brilliant musical career in California, was in Salisbury Md. with her dying Mother. She had awful decisions to make and then a funeral to plan. Life can be so unfair, sometimes.

It occurs to me that funerals are a mixed blessing. No one wants their Mother to die, but a long life well lived and truly mourned is a gift. For the living, funerals are a time to see old friends and remember how lucky we are to have people to love.

So that’s how I spent my 26th wedding anniversary - at a funeral surrounded by my 3 oldest friends. They’d been with me years ago when I made my life commitment.

The four of us have a lot of history together. It was good to go out to dinner, share a laugh and remember why we have loved each other since we were very young. These friendships have lasted longer than my marriage and been just as important in a different way.

I’m 56. I’ve suddenly realized that I can see the whole shape of my life now, past, present, family, friends, beloved husband. People will mourn me when I’m gone. It’s very comforting.

I hope I don’t linger past my usefulness, which is silly considering how much time I spend doing nothing. Every day is a gift, yes?
Tags: a wedding and a funeral
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