empresspatti (empresspatti) wrote,

Deer in the Basement

Updated to add: This does not end well. I should have mentioned this right from the start. I had wanted y'all to experience the lunacy like I did. Bad idea.


Today I was sitting in a restaurant with my coffee-Tuesday girlfriends, having our annual YAY the kids are back in school brunch, when my mobile phone rang. MOM Calling. I had stopped by earlier in the morning to say hello, so I wasn’t concerned. Nor was I worried when I answered and there was no one on the phone. I figured Mom (since my Dad treats a cell phone like a foreign object) had butt dialed me.

Two minutes later my phone rang again: my Daughter.

“What?” I said, exasperated.

“Mom, I know you are having brunch with the girls, but Grandma just called. They have a deer in their basement.”

Explainer: To get to my Parents basement stairs, you have to walk through both garage AND kitchen.

“Um,” I said to my Daughter, “How did the deer get in the house?”

Apparently Grandpa was repairing the garage doorframe, so the garage door, the back door and the basement door were standing open as he walked back and forth, measuring and then cutting wood in the basement.

“Are they ok?” I had visions of mayhem.

“Oh yeah,” my Daughter informed me, “Grandpa was a little surprised when he went down to the basement to cut wood. They called animal control.”

So I called my Parents. “So whatcha doing?” I asked when my Mom answered.

“Well,” said my Mom, “we just got kicked out of the basement by the nice boys from Animal Control. That deer walked right past your Dad (who didn’t notice!!) and fell down the basement steps.

By now I was laughing, repeating everything to my girlfriends around the restaurant table.

My Mom continued, “Of course, your Dad doesn’t hear so well, so he didn’t know what had happened until he went downstairs later to cut some wood. I was sitting, reading my book when he walked into the living room and said, “there’s a deer in the basement, come help me get it out. So downstairs we went. That poor deer was so scared that it crapped and peed everywhere. It also managed to knock the Christmas ornaments all around. OH! LOOK – BYE little deer.”

She hung up on me. Apparently the deer was exiting their home. Me & the girls laughed hysterically. I dropped by my Parents on my way home.

“Oh Honey,” she said “The police just came and shot the deer out in the front yard. There are sending a truck to pick it up.”

So that’s what happened in my world today.
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